Having a bad start is not always equal to having a bad end. But this year proved me wrong. Started as COVID-19 and now trailing around the years coming next to it. The people I never thought would leave this world left us this year. The people we’ve shared our childhood memories with are no longer with us now. When I first heard about this disease it was shocking and so depressing to think about the people dying just because of not staying at 6 feet distance, just because they’re shaking hands, just because they’re hugging each other in their difficult times, or happy times, just because they’re touching things around them.
It was just so heartbreaking for everyone wearing masks and gloves around me. It was all so upsetting that just a single disease snatched our freedom. Freedom of taking a breath in the open air, freedom of wandering around in the streets like a free bird, freedom of going anywhere and just pick anything we wanted, freedom of meeting our beautiful relatives every other day, freedom of going to picnics, even the freedom of seeing our dead loved ones for one last time.
Then one day I heard the news about all of this ending in Summer 2019. They said this disease is not going to stay because of the summer heat and it will no longer exist. Funny, right? All my stress was relieved and then came the month of June and I was free and so grateful at the same time for having a simple and beautiful life back again like I used to have in 2018. Then one day my father had a bad throat, cough, and fever. He said: “ Meh! just a matter of days, it’s just a seasonal fever. Do whatever you want. Just be free!” But it was not. After him, it was my turn I couldn’t taste anything, even when I used to eat I never felt anything on my tongue, I started taking it more seriously. After me, my siblings experienced it. It was so like living in hell.
I couldn’t sometimes hold it all in my heart and cried so hard for the people who left us this year, for the beautiful independent life, and the whole world. I’m always a person who saves her every moment good/bad in her diary. Unfortunately, this year my diary remains empty as my heart and mind were. I was looking at the calendar and there are still 3 more days to start 2021. But I decided to make the last 3 days of December beautiful and collect every lesson that I learned and hope. These are the beautiful words quoted on the cover of the book(Mind Platter by Najwa Zebian) that I am reading these days :
At the end of the day, no one will walk your journey for you.
You have to do that.
At the end of the day, no one will dream for you.
You have to do that.
Let’s just hope! Let’s hope that the year 2021 is going to be a beautiful, independent, COVID-free, and peaceful year. Let’s hope that we’ll not lose our loved ones anymore. Let’s welcome it with open arms and a big smile.
Let’s hope! :’)
